WorkSpace Memo
Date stamp: 22-06-2028
Time (EST): 23:47
From the desk of Xiu Chen Wong; VP, Tech Overview for Job Maintenance (Europe)
To all Job Operators, (Implementation notification commencing 01-07-2028, 00:01):
Please Note: As of July 1, 2028 WorkSpace is dropping all support for the Job firmware OS based on the H4DAPI open source kernel. This decision is based on a number of factors, including:
- The growing need for a closed source, securable operating code for the Jobs
- Reduced WorkSpace tolerance for the undesirable personality memes still present in the open source community
- Proprietary requirements for an OS that can better manage organic overstretch implications of Confluence and other Total Employment activities
As such, your Job’s will shortly be receiving the appropriate system reformat and rebuild necessary for the deployment of the core code of WorkSpace HapLIS; this is a wholly internally derived and built code set, custom developed for the specialised requirements of WorkSpace All. In addition, this upgrade offers the opportunity to conduct a hardware improvement for all Jobs operating in key WorkSpace sectors (N.B.: Excludes orbital operants). Enhancements following hard/soft upgrades will include:
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All Molly-class (v2.03) force feedback systems will be replaced with pseudo-organic, grey-goo compatible, full immersion true-true haptic systems. Keyed to dermal and ocular interface options this new system will permit over 97% RL equivalent feedback quality. For example, it will now be possible to manipulate micro environments/materials at the sub-1 micron level; this means true hands-on product awareness and prompt processing of critical shareholder value materials such as construction diamond.
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3-D virch Tank capacity will be revised to mega-status, with up to one million cubic meter volume available for collaborative projects. Furthermore, Tank resolution finesse is now determined by fractal ranged algorithms based on the standard ocular augment of 18.2 x 107 pixels, giving effective infinite resolving power to equiv-subatomic levels.
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WorkSpace has not forgotten employee leisure applications for the new technology. True sensory reproduction of previously inaccessible tactility options will now be available. In addition to the normal bumptop facilities available for downtime, a fully populated petting zoo will be online shortly. Recognising the long acknowledged psychological health benefits of pet interaction, you will now be able to enjoy the fur of the coypu, the slippery dermis of the eel, and other sensory delights. Book your slot now!
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Conjugal visits: exciting new developments in erogenous interface and direct autonomic patching means Job can now facilitate (monitored) break time virch visits from your nearest and dearest. The newly available SomaSpace will allow the natural expression of love to be part of your WorkSpace life (Hetero interface only currently available).
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H4DAPI will also permit the rollout of revised Reward/Discipline subroutines. Extensive WorkSpace research has shown the delays imposed in the reward/penalty response time result in a poorly articulated corporate->operator message. HapLIS deployment will enable near-immediate (positive/negative) sensory feedback to the operator resulting in definitive clear-message understanding. Similarly, the licensed PAVlove application will ensure greatly reduced repetitive (accidental or otherwise) misapplication of proprietary WorkSpace tools and resources.
All Operators will acknowledge receipt and understanding of this memo by 00:04 at the latest—pingback failure will result in forfeit of 10 kiloseconds of leisure downtime. Operators should also be aware that Job reformat will result in an RL divest of two days—WorkSpace is pleased to announce that for this period a series of team building away-sessions have been devised to further the coherence of WorkSpace efficiency and to better foster a happy working environment.
Check your skeds, guys.
See you there!
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Xiu.