***Elizabeth Zuckerman*** *actually had an okay high school experience, which surprised no one more than it did her. Her fiction has appeared in* Beneath Ceaseless Skies, Haven Spec, *and* Timeless Tales. *She lives in Philadelphia with a husband who quotes Shakespeare and Daria in roughly equal measure, and occasionally livetweets movies at* [@LizCanTweet](https://twitter.com/LizCanTweet).